Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
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He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
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All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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