did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
