it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
