I look better un-naked...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
