you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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