She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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