Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
