My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize