i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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