i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize