she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize