I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize