The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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