He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
