stop calling my apartment porn island.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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