Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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