I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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