Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
