Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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