someone get that fucking seahorse.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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