look no pants
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
