What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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