You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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