Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize