Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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