meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
