nut hugger
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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