During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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