I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
