Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
