Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
