I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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