no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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