Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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