Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
