glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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