i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
