we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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