So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
