honey bunches of taint.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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