Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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