He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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