so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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