i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
