My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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