Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
