people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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