oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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