You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
