Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
