My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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