On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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