i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
then he tried to convert me to islam
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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