Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
try to milk me bitch
Shame - the story of my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
