is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
