That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
