This girl is more easily done than said...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
