You smell like stripper and shame
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
