Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so let's talk penis.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i out mim tonsoeep
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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