Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
