you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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