i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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