He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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