you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize