You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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