I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
