they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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