so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
