FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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