My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
