If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
