Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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